A Key To Trust

Trust.

This word has been such a theme in my prayers, such a cry of my heart, of late.

Do I trust God’s love for me?

Do I trust God’s plan for me?

Do I trust His sovereign reign?

Do I trust His perfect provision?

What am I trusting in?

And, as I have been confronted with the reality of my own lack of trust in various spheres of my life, I have sought to walk in greater faith and trust in the only One who is worthy of my faith and my trust. 

This has been a constant wrestle of my heart and mind, as I seek to surrender my fears and confess my apparent trust in lesser things (including myself, which is painful to admit), and to more squarely place my trust and hope in my heavenly Father.

And, in that, as He is oft so gracious to do, my heavenly Father seems to allow me to have nudges of encouragement in the wobbly-kneed surrender, in the oft painful learning.

This past week, I found myself at a writer’s conference—one I only learned about two days prior, and one my husband quickly insisted I attend. I had many (some even noble) reasons to consider not attending this year, but I knew I could not ignore the seeming nudge from the Lord in making this known and available to me, and in the eager nudge from my husband.

Attending would require me to trust the Lord to cover over some details in our family—some small and some large, some relational, some financial.

Attending would require me to trust the Lord would especially be active in an important meeting for one of my loved ones, which carried a lot of potential answered-prayer weight. Everything in me wanted to be in the privacy of my own home, facedown in the carpet of my favorite prayer place, crying out to God in faithful prayer. Attending would not allow me to do this in the same regular fashion I was accustomed to. Attending would require me to trust that the Lord would be active even when my prayer participation would look quite different.

Attending would require me to put into practice the very thing the Lord has been revealing to me about my lack of trust and needing to trust Him more.

So, when one of the conference coordinators mentioned there would be bookmarks (made from keys) with “words” on them for us to peruse and select on Friday morning, I quickly hoped to find one that said “trust.”

As I looked over the table, and my heart was already racing with the varied heart pressures of the day—for my family and for myself—I cried out to the Lord for His encouragement by finding the word “trust.”

I searched and searched with no success. Grace. Courage. Strength. Faith. Believe. All good words, but none labeled Trust.

I was disappointed, but I decidedly grabbed my “usual” word, Grace, and thanked God for this beautiful new reminder of His grace. I thanked Him that I knew His grace would be at work that day, covering all of the details, being strong in our weakness, bringing courage in our fear, and strengthening our faith when we doubted.

And, lo and behold, as I picked up the word “grace,” I discovered there was a small key bookmark hiding directly underneath it. My eyes could not believe what they saw, as they scanned the word upon that key, and recognized it to say “trust.”

As my eyes filled with tears, my mind and heart raced with spiritual metaphors a-plenty, as I considered the beautiful fact that my “trust” is COVERED by God’s grace and as I considered that God’s grace is more readily seen in a heart that is rooted in “trust.”

I considered the beautiful reality that God’s grace was at work in that moment and would continue to be at work throughout that day, and the days to come. I considered the beautiful reality that regardless of my physical location or my physical posture of body, my posture of heart and soul would always be covered by God’s grace as I place my trust in His all-sufficient saving grace and His resurrection power.

So, today, I will seek to keep my heart anchored and rooted in trust in Him, as I seek to more fully walk in His grace and truth.